let it flow

"let it flow"
Colin used to say
-- father-mother
therapist-swami

he of British accent
South African, having beaten tail
out of that torn place
never mentioning why
(though one might venture
to guess)

he was my surrogate guru
my healer
tried to shift my mind
from recursive pools
recessive river blocked
in backwater swirls
moldy, reeking

my real guru
indisposed in New York
spreading light
through therapists
and moments of relief
3 decades later
when letting it flow
had been mastered
as much as any stream
can master the sea