Panic at the Ballpark

from an unfinished manuscript of prose and poems about my first experiences with depression and anxiety


Panic at the Ballpark

the thing about Archie
or Ashish (which is his given name)
is that he seems to have no preferences
about anything

easygoing, one might say
he is one of the few people
with whom I will spend time now
unabrasive and mellow as he is

we hang out
play tennis
and one weekday evening
take the rapid transit downtown
to see a baseball game

he seems to neither enjoy it
nor dislike it
looking out on the field with a reticent interest

yet he is a little concerned
that I am keeping my eyes closed
as I pray, plead and agonize
pretending the immense crowd
the thunderous cheers and shouts
are so many bubbles
on the ocean
of Universal consciousness