adoption

I

 

the baby knows 

when it is the mother who is holding it

half conscious of this world

one inner eye straining back

peering into the world it came from

 

II

 

nothing was the same

no one was to blame

I must have been

the seal was broken

the vow, the bond

oxytocin, to be replaced

by glucose and orgasm

 

 

III

 

life is dis connection

non-intersection

the simplest things -- vexed

seeking outward

like some crazed fly

or an addict in a sober sky

something I cannot find

even after I find her,

hear her voice

 

IV

 

the inner 

is the August

of summer

beyond the bummer of all

that could go wrong,

that did –

a new kind of song

 

I shouldn't care, b/c

whoever else needed to be,

I am here