like a clenched fist

tower of Babel,
spits out,
spins down
creation
in a fable,
conquistadors,
groping
to hold on to
ill-gotten
power,
we are not understanding,
we are not able,
but somewhere,
spring blooms,
curls of leaves…
opening.

once I thought this was a big deal

I sing to myself
to ache the fill;
I snort song,
then puff it out my mouth
in little clouds.
I, the immaculate.

once I thought this was all a very big deal,
this emptiness,
this pursuit of sustenance,
but it is not;
it is rather common;
it is you
and I
sharing a thought,
each of us
in neighboring apartments,
sitting with our backs
up against the same wall.

Fairy Story (after a George MacDonald story)

The mystery

of longing and need --

the story of a young boy

who kissed a fairy,

she, the beautiful,

light sparkle, gold soul,

raspberry lipped.

She had told him,

"One kiss will

drive you insane."

But what a kiss it was,

the marriage of the sweetest softness,

and the most unbearable burning --

I take the bait,

take the bit,

bite in deep,

rest in it,

and then

find myself

falling gut-first

to the ground.

My weight heaves me,

my breath leaves me,

I am empty of everything, of any longing, any longer.

And there is only the realization –

that fairy was preaching some kind of Gospel

and that I am the willing sacrifice

on the cross of my own foolishness and desire.

(but what a kiss it was)

momma baby

baby asleep,
wrapped in fleece,
baby momma
draggin' her butt
from work to day care to shopping
with baby in arms, soft and warm,
momma's asleep herself on the RTA

free jazz

the day before New Year's Eve;
no money, no plans for the following night,
no spark, not seeing any kind of light,
wish I may, wish I might
have some kind of fist in this fight,
this mentally illman's plight --
never feeling enough,
always having to fight a battle
to get to the battle,
war drums rattle,
off in the distance,
I can wish it but can't fix it...

NPR, free jazz,
time, no time, sound and hands
on hand-crafted instruments,
radar red,
radio says,
"you are here, man...
follow the groove...
listen for your Muse…
this is the battle."