I wasn't giving her money, and she wasn't using it for drugs

she stood by the abandoned storefront
where Big Fun once dispensed crass and hilarious items
holding her own against the wind, it seemed
while there was no wind to speak of

as I plodded the crosswalk with my cane
she caught my eye
when I arrived on her side
she asked if I had any change
she was hungry

I fished in my wallet
full of bills earmarked for poetry books
handed her a $1 bill
she thanked me sweetly
and I proceeded to Mac's for the reading

as it was, I did not buy any of the reader's books
left early in a hurry, in between open mic poets

when I got to the crosswalk, she was still standing there
I looked at her, smiled, and she frowned
"where's your cane?", she asked

I opened my mouth
uttered a profuse "thank you"
and trundled back to Mac's
through the shop and down the stairs
to the water pipe I had left my cane by

seeing her one last time on my way to my car
she asked if I could give her just two more dollars
she wanted to get a sandwich from Tommy's
I was glad she asked, because I didn't want to hand it to her
unsolicited, as if it were a tip, though that is what
I had planned it to be

"try Jimmy John's", I told her
"you'll get more to eat for less"
she took the two dollars and disappeared into the evening crowd

the whole time
I was embarrassed to tell her, the cane is somewhat only for show
her concern overshadowed by an awe
that some miracle had corrected my walking

braille of moment

some can read
submerged and dreaming

I am not that confident
I have my issues

I am only clambering
with impertinent hands

for a better view
of drowning

this one note

Bill Frisell

bending a string

through light distortion

offering to the Muse

his aural veneration

this one note

could stop an army

could win a Grammy

could melt a stone heart

could empty a music hall

and fill the surrounding countryside



crickets and fireflies

lighters waved high

tiny flames flag

the gentle breeze

seat of jeans soaked

on grassy hills

slick with thin drizzle

as she approached her seat

I noted an aura
ten feet around her
white light
zapping negative energy
unconstructive thought
dissolving it, replacing with joy

I thought of her as the center
or as one such center
the real deal

what I've come to realize
we are all enlightened
the whole spiritual pursuit
a set-up
nothing to worry over
nothing to chase
supported by naught
but the bliss of bare existence

pink flower

you save my mind

you breathe for me

when I am overwhelmed

by dad cancer

by money, unfunny

by a little Havanese

who wants attention

paws on pad such that

I have difficulty writing

anxiety parasitic

freeloading off of

thought and behavior

but you save my mind

pink flower on the tree

you open my eyes

you breathe for me

your river gets sweeter

unlike
the rivers
polluted by acts of greed
by inflated ego's seed
the downstream, saturated
with waste and insoluble excuses

your river
gets sweeter, my love
the closer it gets
to the ocean
of phileo-
of agape-
of romantic-
of puppy-
of Platonic-
Honey

in limbo (travel poem)

nothing much to say
in limbo
in between cities
in between home
away
in between states
in between space and earth
in between tomorrow and today
in between sorrow and expectancy
in between a sense of loss
and a sense of me
in between utter collapse
and the best of me
in between books
off the ground a foot
nowhere to lay my head
little sleep last night
craving bed
craving bread
losing my mind
losing my father
why bother
an uncanny calm
and illusion of self-mastery
an unconscious dread
and acknowledged disaster meet