done with moist solutions

done with moist solutions
soggy paper bag full
of reasons for being
I am crow flight crooked
in spine, my calves ache
my teeth are rotting
on the vine, half a mind
controls what little patience
I put toward an early
retirement
cannot please my lover
she wouldn't want me to try
and the sky's the limit
all my money is on
old age, suffering and death
I was born on the cross
I will leave here incomplete
in search of more
incompletion

long haiku

shine of sun
on hold for now
the light that takes its time
trickling through the skylight
grey and slate-blue
the unsyncopated array
of droplets falling from
the soaked black awning
bathes my heart in somber solace
and I am fine with this afternoon
gloomy as it is, a welcome friend
a cold soda to pull on
and yet, in the very depth
of inner and outer worlds
it rains

flying home

no one recognized us
flying home
in the rain

but they saw our
lifted spirits
magnified in our eyes
and forgot they were standing
in mud
up to their shoulders

completing a circuit
a conversation
a theatrical production
a book of secret rhythms

we stirred our wings of flowers and silk
rose into the storming night once more
bringing our home
with us

Mose

old trumpet sound, tight and tinny
ancient bass, 4 beats by 4/4 time
voice with an edge
soaked with gritty pleasure
drummer can spend
his life in this groove
in this future existence
my feet move

water strider

practically everyone I know
I don't know well
water strider
skimming the surface
legs suspended
breaking the skin
tenuous splendidness

factoid -- the water strider is also known as the "jesus bug"

Panic at the Ballpark

from an unfinished manuscript of prose and poems about my first experiences with depression and anxiety


Panic at the Ballpark

the thing about Archie
or Ashish (which is his given name)
is that he seems to have no preferences
about anything

easygoing, one might say
he is one of the few people
with whom I will spend time now
unabrasive and mellow as he is

we hang out
play tennis
and one weekday evening
take the rapid transit downtown
to see a baseball game

he seems to neither enjoy it
nor dislike it
looking out on the field with a reticent interest

yet he is a little concerned
that I am keeping my eyes closed
as I pray, plead and agonize
pretending the immense crowd
the thunderous cheers and shouts
are so many bubbles
on the ocean
of Universal consciousness