jerk

It's alright
to be a jerk
just don't let it show
don't let anybody know
bite it back
keep it down
the disapproving frown
the invalidating
glance

love's loves lost

forget about loves lost
loves never ventured, indentured
or star-crossed
forgive the apple that came
in the night
to carry you to full responsibility
for the world you created

your knees give
your stomach folds its claim
to pleasure

you have not missed much
you have not
missed much

I will tell you
what you have not missed

-- the blame of 1,000,000 burning stands
of grasses, the masses of dolphins
clicking at you in
thick Oceanic accents
the flies’ ointment applied
to bare bone
the notice they put on your door
saying you are not welcome back
in this dimension

you see, you have not missed much
I'll wager you cannot remember a time
when the blood was so thick
as it rose to your face
clots dissolving like pride

and understanding, a brilliant blue nova
explodes into the moment
-- a moment too late
for you are gone,
gone with your shares of petroleum
and other regrettable choices

when the news is new

a funny man
kills himself

a cop kills an innocent kid

a developmentally disabled
McDonald's worker
foils a robbery –
taking a bullet
that takes his life

politicians on trial
Gaza on fire with ceasefire
a break in the bombing
in peace we trust
the whole world hopes
perhaps to no avail

a protester at the Gay Games
wouldn’t you know

but count your blessings

a 99-year-old woman there
will run the 100-yard dash
with a cane, with no competition
and we all can cry into our coffees
cuz, wouldn’t you know

she means to win

no-home

not being able
to complete sentences
complete ideas, thoughts
poems
the ground shifts
we are not
in Cleveland anymore
the world
is ephemeral
no-self
translates as
psychosis
my body improvises
its own structure
there is no bone
there is no home
there never was

the Big Empty

leaving my Dad
after entwining
our breaths
our schedules
for one and one half
weekends

I open
into a sphere
of sky
that is void
of any touch point
or ease of stairs

I climb
unaware
of my feet
my knees
my identity

I am
what I see
-- empty

and I am
after the discomfort
of sugar, love
vinegar
after a weekend
and a half's lapse
I am
-- free

the cooling

opulence on every side
the diamonds that light
my way appear
increasingly lackluster

hurt drives wanting
wanting proves to be
its own engine
fulfillment
does itself in,
a burning that consumes
itself but never
can be extinguished

I contemplate
a way out
"Extend your hand,"
my grandmother
always used to say
I never did understand

I take wing
land on your branch
blow out
your conflagration

my own immolation
becomes all the more
clear to me

branch by branch
flame by flame
afire and desperate
we must
cool each other