pin

desire

makes these atoms

dance, interpenetrate

evolve into forms, musics

galaxies

but it takes love

small smooth reptiles

hulking redwoods

to hold them

pinned here

to existence

the journey

heading for the peak

you have arrived at the foothills

the sun's corona

the entrance to her apartment

it is not the map

that will carry you

but the journey

treading the path

up the mountainside

entering through her door

and you must continue

until you are burned up

divided out into molecules

atoms

until you touch her cheek

lift her veil

press your lips

mount the summit

in absence of Self

presence of bliss

the supreme kiss

limitations of safety

the training wheels

in place for so long

you have become numb

to insecurity

dumb, from having another

guide your soaring body

over the sidewalk

but it is time

the gauze removed

from the slashed finger

medications purged

from your ill body

it is time

for the training wheels

to be shed

to see for yourself

within the terrific dread

of falling of not falling

how you become a rocket

jettisoned into space

free then

in never quite knowing

the secret tantras -- 1 through 3

I

I wanted you then

to heal me through tantric sex

you did.  you said No.

II

walking her home

bullshitting, laughing

better than sex

III

one step

beyond enlightenment

bananas with peanut butter

Mustafa/more enter -- two more from Starbucks

 

Mustafa, my one-time neighbor

tall, thin, acutely handsome

I used to apologize to him

for screaming in my apartment

 

I ran into him and his wife

one Thanksgiving at Starbucks

greeted them, both nurses, I think

she, wearing hijab, silent but smiling

he nodding, a little hesitantly

to this fat little man

alone on an American holiday

who yells at God

 

--

 

yellow leaves, cigarette butts

on the inside edge of the flower beds

a tree, chockful of bitter red berries

four dirty, beige columns, 

                       holding up the patio roof

a line of dead mosquitos stuck to/ climbing

                                each pillar

Starbucks Rocky River

a single bee in early evening

perusing the flowers

 

anonymous alcoholics, high school kids

troupe through this outdoor stage

Eastern European buddies

friends sitting to chat

at this sober, pale tavern 

this three-story corporate behemoth

where more people enter

than arrive

plagiarize the gods

plagiarize the gods

their gestures, their words 

                                  enter from within

spittle becomes thought

then literature