suppressed 1

packs of smokes
fall from heaven above
for scrappers, picking
change out of gutters

I never lit that end
but the other

I filtered every thought
every feeling and action
including sex and food
all the essentials

primary process
the drive to survive
anger, hunger, desire
gone by my hand

where did they go?
bye bye

to the land where abortions
hope to be resurrected,
dreaming of being born

again in the world out there
where melancholia
and high-strung neurosis
get both sympathy
and recrimination