am I dying?

am I dying? I wonder
have I slowly been approaching
the end of my contract with karma
in a majestic car wreck trajectory,
the earth element dissolving into the water principle
my strength, gradually dissipating

this feeling of falling
this sensation of withdrawing
perhaps the Tibetan Book of the Dead
has my number, Britney Spears singing
"Toxic", in the background

I am still aboveground, yes
but what's to say
this month, this next moment
will not be my time?

all things must pass
oh, preach it, brother George
but I don't want to know
the extent to which this goes
how this soul dissolves
into bliss, what is bliss?
when my line of sight is contracting
self-certainty lacking
so slick, I once thought myself
with every bullet I managed to dodge
never knowing they would all be waiting
at the moment of my most prideful misstep
my most profound realization