Waiting

"Table for one?" she asks.
She grabs a menu
and walks so very slowly, painfully it seems.
She must be in her mid-40's.
I do not understand.

When she sets my place,
I see her hands,
fingers bent the way my mother's were,
impossible angles -- arthritic.

The food, when it comes, is delicious.
With a relaxed, uncomplaining face
she sits and watches customers,
awaiting a finished plate
or a half-empty water glass.

She must be here
because she very much wants to be.
She wouldn't think of leaving,
of not working for a living,
I tell myself.

When she comes to clear my plate,
I am ready to tell her to stop,
to go home,
to carry my own selfish mess
to the dish-room.

distracted

the Jews retaliate
when the jihadists
make jihad
both of them seeking
the elusive will of God
both missing the point
the real prize to win
distracted by each other
from the God within

on neural highway

mind -- not well
crinkled fissures
fold and fizzle
blood course, brain goop
sugar shock, shutting down
stutter stop, starter stuck
and all the blazing neurons
crash tip-deep into the backs
of the next in the chain
pile-up
on neural highway
fucked up
from too much too much
grounded
in hospital once again
gowns have wings
to fly into neon skies
psychotropic paradise

agony of apathy

didn't get this way
from years of caring

proud,
so proud
of being able to say "no"

like it was the next big
jazz

just because it could say
"screw you"

with carte blanche

under cover of sleep

French kissing her
under cover of sleep
in mystery of dream
a coming home
to the electric heart
this is what I've wanted
to be
this is what I've been
longing for
without knowing
every moment
in the years
since we last met

calling all sainted flowers -- #4

calling all
sainted flowers,
brushing the epitome
of epiphanies
gorging on honey
and sea air
growing like
life itself,
packed infinite
in each
cubic inch
of space

like loving not -- #3

Love
like loving not
the absence of absence
the filling of that which has
no more space to receive
remark - refund - retrieve
re-circle the situation
you felt to be a difficulty
while it was not
it was a question, rather
with no answer
hands extending outward
to embrace the All of us