power of two

Barbara Brennan
energy healer
author of "Hands of Light"
former NASA physicist
wrote that boys
who have been humiliated
by their mothers
tend toward portliness
and a fascination
with pornography
outlandish as it may sound
it hit the mark for me
when I read it
several years ago

tonight
I listen to some Indigo Girls
I sit and journal
map out and peruse my life
in pen
as two lesbians
sing of a power
"stronger than the monsters
beneath your bed"
and it occurs to me
that there is something
I want more
than pictures
of untouchable dominatrixes
and fetish queens

I want love
in whatever form
it may come
a power stronger than
humiliation
childhood sexual abuse
and years of inaction
in the face of losing
that passion for healing
and sharing
with tangible
wounded
fellow humans